I Went to My Cousin's Wedding
I went to my dear cousin's wedding today.
My cousin Jay(that's not his actual name), he was the only cousin I hung out with growing up. He's an incredibly likable, proper, respectful Catholic boy. Nobody has anything bad to say about him. Somewhat of a people pleaser, and does the people pleasing really well. I was the opposite growing up, and I think that's why he liked me. I was always open and honest about my thoughts and feelings (sometimes of course to the point of being rude lol), and I think he respected that. I gave him a glimpse of freedom and honesty that he didn't feel he had the luxury to experience. So we talked and played video games and played table tennis growing up.
Then I went to the US, didn't talk to him for 10 years. When I came back to Singapore, within a few weeks he asked me to meet up with him.
During our meeting, we talked about our lives and dreams like we always do. He revealed to me that I was his 'favorite cousin'. I was shocked. I hadn't talked to him for 10 years, why would he say that? But he said it was because whenever I met him, I always seemed curious about him and asked about him, and was always open and honest. Apparently he rarely received that from other people.
I knew he had a wedding soon, and said I was looking forward to go. But he said 'Oh no... I don't think you can come'. He said it wasn't because he thought I'd be trouble or a distraction, but he just doesn't want to deal with any negative comments at work if people knew he invited me to his wedding. I told him that wasn't entirely unreasonable. Hate is pretty frightening for most people.
However, surprisingly, in a few days he changed his mind. He said he thought and prayed, and 'didn't want to let fears from having a dear cousin witness such a joyous experience in my life'. I can't express how touched I was to hear that.
The wedding was a very unique experience. It was held at a church, and it was basically a mass. There was singing, communion, the priest gave a sermon (though it was directly related to Jay's marriage). Yet the atmosphere and environment was very lighthearted. The wedding video had memes and jokes like how Jay is riding an exercise bike to transport the bride. There was like a cardboard cut out of Jay's face with his mouth wide open to put Ang Baos in. The bride was giggling and fidgeting as she walked down the aisle and giving her wedding speech. I was impressed how informal it was.
And even leading up to the wedding, they didn't take their wedding photos with some generic scenery, like in front of a mueseum or the esplanade or whatever. They instead took their wedding photos in places they regularly interacted in, like hawker centres and playgrounds. And in the photos they were making funny, goofy faces. Very relatable. Very human.
Jay's bride, Sally (once again, not actually her name), she is the opposite of Jay: high-energy, spontaneous, joking around. I think Sally activated more of Jay's loose and fun side. And Sally says Jay helps her with all the boring but important stuff, like managing finances.
When Jay and Sally started reciting their vows, I started crying. Seeing someone you grew up with and care about, experiencing genuine happiness from finding someone that truly compliments and loves him. You feel how much value Jay and Sally add to each other's lives, and in the process, complete each other. For a brief moment, you experience fully the grace and love of God. Truly a transcendent experience.
My Mom wanted to give Sally and Jay an Ang Bao, and asked me what we should write on it. I thought about it for a few minutes and finally wrote 'Love is simple, and unnoticed'.
Hopefully my presence didn't distract from the wedding too much. At most after the service when we had the buffet, there was a little impromptu photoshoot where 30 people came up to talk to me and take pictures. I told Jay afterwards I felt embarrassed by that, but Jay said 'No no no no. You deserve it. You should have charged 5 dollars a photo'. Then afterwards Jay was like 'please take more photos with us, my wife is a big fan'. And so we took more photos lol.
At the end Jay shouted at me: 'Stop getting into anymore trouble lah!' And I just smiled back at him. I think he and I knew what that meant: I was definitely going to get into even more trouble.
Likely who Amos Yee's cousins who just invited Amos Yee to their wedding will be revealed to the public. And if it does, I hope Jay won't regret inviting me. If he's really as good of a person as I think he is, I don't think he will.
Personally, my idea of an ideal wedding is just me, my wife, and maybe one priest, in a back alley. But after this wedding, I think I've started to fully support people who make weddings a big celebration. Jay and Sally have their love, and they celebrated and shared it with everyone, making everyone more loved in the process. I think I was transformed by the experience. Sally and Jay, thank you so much for that.